Q&A: Friends, Followers Go In-Depth With Me On The Vivid Life

With all the happenings of Art Basel Weekend, I snuck time before my first stream of VividLife TV to tap in with some friends for a favor to help drive the conversation piece around The Vivid Life. These conversations with some of friends helped drive a lot of what I found to be necessary to incorporate into the live stream discussion. Considering the show is primarily a solo venture when there aren't guests on, it left plenty unsaid which would give enough for a follow up blog.

When you combine the conversation surround the so-called "vivid life" with the discussion that was had on the stream about finding one's Third Place - the social surroundings that are separate from the two usual social environments of home and the workplace - you find a little bit of the arithmetics needed to maintain a sense of grounding and community in a world filled with digital communities, wanderlust, and shrinking social spaces.

One friend mentioned that their understanding of what the "vivid life" meant was a life filled with travel, considering how often they saw me travel in both 2022 and 2023.

"You travel a lot, or at least that's what it seems. And that's what I think makes people feel like they relate to in the 'vivid life'." - Female Friend, 34

Sometimes when you're down all you need is a little adventure.

I counted 21 legs of flights this year and, because Miami and surrounding areas are my home stomping grounds, I don't really count "roadtrips per se". If I had to count road trips, in the last year, I've taken only two (Joshua Tree, Dec '22 and California, Nov '23).

Read more: Here's How to Know If You're Living A Vivid Life

The reality, though, is that for me travel doesn't necessarily constitute any major factor in "the vivid life". You won't see flags of countries I've visited in my bio; you won't see me list how many countries I've been to. And the reality is, up until you're ten toes down at your destination and your phone is out, the in-between from leaving your house and arriving to your destination is trash. There's nothing "vivid" about TSA, or getting groped every time you walk through the scanner (it happens every time). Sorry, it's not groping, it's using the back of the palm and the knuckle area, right?

After finally coming up with the five keys, discussed in my last blog - Journey to Purpose, Endless Adventure, Individual Celebration, Collective Effort, and Stars & Roses - I had those same friends write questions for me to answer.

The following were those questions and my very personal and open answers.

//Why the Vivid Life?

Asked By Friend. Male, 34

The Pandemic. It feels like sometimes people don't remember it well. Like there's a amnesia about how exactly the year 2020 played out. The pandemic was dark. When you think about how fast normal became abnormal, then the abnormal became normal, it was rough. Personally, my normals changed fast, too.

One day, I'm in Houston celebrating my 30th birthday, then the next I'm packing my shit and moving across town, and 30 days later, a nine-year relationship and four and a half years of marriage hits dissolution. And believe it or not, I don't mourn that because one thing the pandemic and that entire shift of life taught me was that so much of life was theater.

I don't talk much about divorce publicly, because I never wanted divorce to become my personality. Some people do that, their relationship status becomes their personality. Now, we all gotta suffer reading their text-based story posts, and their JustinLaBoy commentary. For me, I just thought that I wanted to live a life and let people almost forget that I was ever married.

Whenever I'm asked if I think people forget, I always say that I myself forget sometimes.

Naturally, I had these ideas of like, 'If I were to ever live alone, this is how I'd do it'. And I legitimately put those things into practice, and just thought about how I have so much of a shot at building my own life.

I'd be lying if I said death didn't reteach me lessons about life.

When hundreds of thousands of people were dying during the pandemic, most families were not given an opportunity for a proper funeral. Memorials were held over Zoom, disconnected, disengaged, and leaving people with unreleased grief. I knew 4 people who had to send off their loved ones this way.

My answer continued.

COVID changed my perspective on life in general. I can go on and on about that, but I felt a strong sense of restart or rebirth. People say things like, "I feel like I wasted so much time in that relationship" or "that person wasted my time", and my thinking was like, here I am with a new chance to do all the things I believe I would have done. If your 30s are your 20s with money, that just means there's more you can do. So much more. And I did it.

//Question: Share a key moment or decision that set you on this path.

Asked by Friend. Female, 34

I had a lot of worries - if I'm being honest. Genuine, very human, earthly ass worries. Like, "Can I keep up with this dating scene?" - and then I discovered nobody can keep up with this dating scene. Like...

And then I also had financial concerns, too. And then one day, I hit up my friend Alisha Pass and asked her for a budgeting sheet. And then I budgeted, and then I was like, "Oh, nah. I'm okay." The only thing a Capricorn needs to see is that the money straight, and all the other problems aren't problems anymore.

//Endless Adventure: "How do you maintain a sense of adventure in both the ups and downs of life?"

Asked by Friend. Female, 33

Sometimes when you're down all you need is a little adventure.

I don't equate adventure to having zero problems in life. If you have zero problems in life, you are probably overwhelmed with problems and just delusional about your current state. I'm not one of those toxic positivity people, and I usually get frustrated with forceful optimism. Like, "everything is going to be fine and work itself out" statements frustrate me because I'm like, it's me that has to work this out. I have to figure this out.

But that's life. The "ups and downs" are put are life. My life is not perfect - it's actually so far from that. But the lows are not the end of the story. Moses spent 40 years in the desert. Odysseus spent years off course before he got back to his wife, Ithica. The lows are just the chapter in our lives where we gain a deeper sense of understanding, a little character development. Mess around, and you may just pull up with Stormbreaker.

What you do during those lows is important to the rest of the story. It's perspective. And sometimes, you do just have to sit your ass down for a bit. But keep your chin up. Why worry about sidewalk when there's sky?

//Individual Celebration: What aspect of your individuality do you celebrate the most?

Asked by Friend. Female, 36

I'm only capable of showing up as myself. It's never worked against me, and it's never hurt me. It actually simplifies my life so well. Like, I know what I like and what I enjoy. And sometimes, I do be wildin' - but I have self-awareness, so I can always reel it back in. Or apologize after the fact. Shoutout to self-awareness, cause we all just discovered that like 50% of us don't even have self-talk or an inner voice.

I'm glad I do. Be blessed.

// Individual Celebration: How has embracing your uniqueness played a role in your personal and professional growth?

Asked by Follower. Male, 35

Embracing my uniqueness is the key to that. When I talk about Individual Celebration, I want to be clear that the celebration part is not going to come from external sources until the external sources can recognize the internal work. I believe in what I am and who I am, and while I am open to advice, I'm open to coaching, and I'm open to criticism, I bet high on me every time.

I immediately think of the fact that I took one photo per day for about half of 2020. From like July to the end of the year, I took one photo per day. At first, I wasn't smiling. Then, in came a smirk. Then I was smiling. Then cheesing. Then I was posing. And what I brought out in myself is what I aim to bring out in people when I shoot videos. I see who you are, but I sense you're holding it back, and you don't have to do that. I got really good at doing for others what I was able to do first for myself. That's what built my creative offering. The intention of a photo or video shoot is to bring out and capture the best you. So, who are you? Who are you becoming? Who will we remember when we see this person in one year or ten years?

//Collective Effort: How and why is the concept of collective effort is integral to The Vivid Life?

Asked by a Follower, Female, 30

I can really only sum it up with some imagery.

You know there's the idea of a seat at the table, right? The table having people of a certain caliber that you want to be around for whatever reason. People will tell you that if you can't get a seat at the table build your own table. And I think there's nothing wrong with that, but boom. Let's say you built that table by yourself. If no one comes, you're seated at a table alone. The nails, the screws, the joints, you built and put together alone and no one saw a value in that process, or that table and you've done it alone and for yourself.

My point is that there is so much we can build communities around, and connect with people on and about. It's cool to be a solopreneur, I've been one since 2014. But to me Collective Effort is finding the common ground so that building a table is mutually beneficial to me and to you. And what we build is to the benefit of people who can commune on it and grow. We're in a digital age, and we need communities. Find carpenters to build with.

And in a personal sense, it's okay to desire or want a sense of longing, too. Traveling the world is dope, but so is coming back to a community or having a community to come back to as a whole is amazing, too.

//Stars & Roses: Growth is often compared to the blooming. What's a moment in your life where you felt you were truly blooming?

Asked by A Friend. Male, 33

I don't think of a moment. I think of it in seasons. If it's a moment, that's what we call peaking, right? Like, a dude peaks in college because he did this thing, and then that thing, and ain't did a thing since.

Keep with the flower metaphor, when annuals bloom, it's this long dramatic process. First they sprout, then they do this, and that and then - HALLELUJAH. It finally opens days or weeks later and you're like, "what a show!"

I think I've only gotten to about the sprouting with a solid stem. I'm turning 34 in a month, and I am still growing. The bloom is coming.

//Question: In a nutshell, if you had to describe the Vivid Life philosophy in a single sentence, what would it be?

Asked by a follower. Male, 31

In living a Vivid Life, I believe it's embracing the journey, seeking the adventure, loving your own self-discovery; it's connecting with community while fostering growth, and sharing all of that with others to inspire and be inspired.

What do you think about "The Vivid Life"? Comment below with thoughts on this project to make the idea more relatable to more people.

Join me each and every week at 8:30pm live for VividLife TV as I have discussions like these in real time, along with guest appearances, topics, and more. Be sure to subscribe to I AM ALEX AUGUSTE on all social platforms.

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